


My Oneshots

by simplyylupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Harry Potter - Freeform, Marauders, Oneshot, Pining, Remus x Sirius, jily, relationship, remus lupin - Freeform, sirius black - Freeform, sirius x remus, wolfstar, wolfstar angst, wolfstar fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:47:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28978374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyylupin/pseuds/simplyylupin
Summary: sirius becomes an animagus, and this is remus' reaction
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	1. Sirius become an Animagus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sirius becomes an animagus, and this is remus' reaction

"Holy shit. Holy shit!"

James clapped his hand to his mouth in amazement, staring wide-eyed at the shaggy black dog in front of him. The dog ran in a circle, chasing its wagging tail, before sitting back on its haunches and letting out a loud, happy bark.

"I can't believe it," James spluttered, as the black dog morphed back into Sirius. "How....how?"

"I have no clue mate, one moment I'm just minding my own business, next moment I'm a fucking dog," Sirius said, a manic grin spreading across his face.

"I can't believe you did it before me..."

"That's what you're focusing on right now?!"

"Obviously! Now I'm five gallons short."

Sirius gave James a playful shove on the shoulder, still grinning.

"Wait until Re finds out!"

"I'm sure he'll be over the moon."

He rolled his eyes and began to dismiss James' joke, but stopped as footsteps from outside echoed into the room.

"Do you think that's him?"

As if he'd heard Sirius, a voice rang out.

"Did I just hear a dog?" Remus called from outside.

"Uh...no?" James called back whilst gesturing wildly to his friend.

Sirius eventually got the gist, and morphed back into the dog form, seconds before Remus walked in.

He froze, eyeing the black dog suspiciously.

"James....why is there a massive, ugly canine in our dorm...?"

Sirius made a whining sound at his words, James bending down and patting his head.

"Don't be harsh Moony. You're upsetting him."

"Where did you even find that thing?" Remus asked, moving away from the door and into the room.

"It's more like...he found me."

"Well he can't stay here," Remus stated.

Deciding it was the right moment, Sirius changed back into human form, fake pouting, arms crossed.

"You're kicking me out then?"

Remus stumbled backwards with surprise, falling onto the bed behind him, knocking a lamp in the process.

"What the fuck?!" Remus half shouted, eyes flickering between the two now laughing boys.

"Surprise!" Sirius yelled, throwing his arms out. "I'm a dog!"

"You-you did it?"

Sirius nodded, still grinning.

"Oh my god!" Remus exclaimed, jumping to his feet, a grin to match Sirius', "You're- oh my god."

Remus rushed forward, flinging his arms around his neck, Sirius letting out a startled sound, before hugging him back.

He heard the door click shut as Remus buried his head into Sirius' neck, signalling James had left the room. He'd thank him later.

"Thank you," Remus murmured, still pulling him close. "Thank you."

"Of course Moons," he replied, holding the back of Remus' head gently.

"I can't believe- fucking hell Sirius. I still can't believe you did this for me."

"I've already told you once before. I'd do anything for you."

Then Remus abruptly pushed away, and before Sirius could even register his absence, Remus was kissing him.

It was a ghost of a kiss really, Remus' lips only brushing slightly against his, unsure and scared, giving Sirius time to run away if he wanted to. Instead, he leaned forward and closed the gap fully, feeling Remus deflate with relief, and relax. They held each other like that for what felt like hours, Remus cradling Sirius' face, Sirius standing on his tip toes, his arms wound around Remus' neck.

When they finally broke apart, they kept their foreheads pressed together, big smiles creeping onto their faces.

"It finally happened," Remus said, softly, eyes still closed.

Sirius hummed in response, placing a small kiss onto Remus' nose. After a moment of silence, Remus began to laugh.

"I can't believe your Animagus is a great, mattered furred, slobbery dog," Remus suddenly burst out, letting out a snort.

"Oi! It's not like I could choose!" he complained, as Remus dropped his head into Sirius' shoulder, shaking with laughter. "I'm still hurt you called me ugly."

"If only your looks determined what your animal looked like. Then the dog would at least be halfway decent."

"Hey!"


	2. Remus has a Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remus has a nightmare about hurting his friends, and sirius comforts him

A full moon.

The wolf is angry.

His pack herding him back.

Fighting.

Vicious swipes at the Horned One and the Black One.

Blood.

Waking up, metallic smell.

Bodies everywhere.

Peter.

James.

Sirius.

They.

Are.

All.

Dead.

Remus woke up with a start, flying up into a sitting position, holding the bedsheets tight. He could feel his heart hammering frantically against his chest, his breaths ragged. He clasped his hand over his mouth as the uncontrollable urge to cry washed over him.

After the incident with Snape, nightmares about hurting his friends had become a common occurrence for Remus, terror gripping him every time.

Remus felt his eyes prickle with inevitable tears, beads of sweat breaking on his forehead, as he hugged his legs, rocking back and forth, trying to calm himself down. He let out a muffled sob into his arm, hiccupping as be did so, like a child.

"Remus?"

A hushed voice from outside called out, and Remus drew in a ragged breath. So far, nobody had been disturbed by his nightly terrors, and he'd wanted to keep it that way.

Footsteps padded towards his bed, the side curtain quietly being drawn across, and Sirius poked his head inside. Even in the dark - and through tears - Remus saw Sirius' eyes fill with worry as he took in his appearance.

"Fuck Re...what's wrong?" Sirius asked softly, climbing on the bed and perching by his feet.

"Nightmare," Remus said thickly, burying his head back into his arms.

"Oh...do you want to talk about it?"

Remus shook his head, letting out another sob, still not looking up, willing Sirius would go away. However, he instead felt gentle hands prise him away from his arms, lifting his head up. Sirius swiped his thumb across Remus' cheek, wiping away falling tears.

"There," Sirius said, hand still resting on his face. "That's better."

Remus leaned into the touch slightly, closing his eyes.

"The nightmare was about the wolf," he started. "M-Me. And you, all of you. I k-killed all of you and when I woke up, you were all there, laying on the floor..."

Remus felt his breathing become ragged and uneven as he thought about the reoccurring nightmare, and he gripped onto Sirius' arm.

"Shh," Sirius murmured, "You're safe okay? We're safe. It was just a dream."

Inhaling deeply, he loosened his hold on Sirius.

"It's been happening a lot lately....ever since, y'know....Snape."

He felt Sirius stiffen and freeze.

"Re I'm so sorry-"

"It's not your fault," Remus quickly assured. "It's just my mind...being paranoid."

He dug the palm of his hands into his eyes, rubbing away any stray tears.

"Are you going back to sleep?" Sirius asked, after a few beats of silence.

Remus nodded, laying his head back down on the pillow.

"Do you...do you want me to stay?"

He nodded again, closing his eyes, feeling the mattress dip slightly as Sirius crawled under the duvet. An arm wrapped itself around his waist, cuddling him close, Sirius resting his head on his shoulder.

"I'll fight off the bad dreams for you, how about that?" he whispered.


	3. The day after Sirius' death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a sad one oops

Remus wasn't entirely sure how he'd gotten there. 12 Grimmauld Place. He stood outside the grimy building, staring at it until his eyes watered and he forced himself to blink, washing away the pain.

He remembered receiving the call that Harry was in the Department of Mysterious and he remembered Sirius' frantic voice from across the hall: "I have to go, you don't understand he's my godson!" Remus remembered arriving, a strange, sudden thrill rushing through him, and he remembered thinking, for a moment, that James was fighting along side them. And then he remembered Bellatrix, throwing curses after curses, until a green jet smacked Sirius squarely in the chest, and everything went silent. He remembered Sirius' eyes finding his in the haze, and giving him a smile. And then he was gone, and Remus was grabbing onto Harry, stopping him from going after Sirius, even though he wanted to go himself, because he needed Sirius, he needed him.

And now he was outside this wretched building, with no recollection of how he'd gotten there, not even feeling his feet pad against the pavement as he walked to the front door. The house was an erey silent as he entered, and although he could sense other peoples presence, he didn't bother acknowledging them, instead heading up the stairs.

All the portraits were quiet too, and Remus noticed that the usually empty frame at the top of the staircase was occupied, a frail old man perching in it. Phineas Nigellus, Sirius' great-great-grandfather, gave him a small nod as Remus passed and pushed the door of Sirius' room open.

It was just as Sirius had left it. Bed unmade, Gryffindor banners still decorating the walls, clothes and papers strewn discarded on the floor, everything was the same. Remus wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it wasn't this. It seemed as if Sirius had left the room only a few mere minutes ago.

He sank down onto the silk bedsheets, staring up at the bed's canopy above, where luminescent plastic stars littered the surface. Remus remembered that day easily: them sitting together on that very bed, spending nearly all day sticking stars into the correct constellation patterns. It seemed pointless now.

Rolling on his side, he stared at the wall instead, eager to pull himself away from the memories that now hurt. Instead, his eyes latched onto a photo on the bedside table. It was small, but the frame was gold and glistening, a sign that it was polished regularly. He hauled himself up, picking it up gingerly.

It was a picture from their last Christmas at Hogwarts. Lily, James, Sirius and him were all bundled uncomfortably on the couch together. They all had wide grins on their faces, none of which were directed to the camera. James was looking down at Lily with pure adoration, Lily looking at him the same way. To their left, Sirius had his head resting on Remus' shoulder, arm wrapped around his waist, pulling them together. Remus could almost still feel the weight of his head resting on him, his hand squeezing his hip reassuringly and the warm breathes fanning onto his neck - tickling him.

And for the first time since the Department of Mysterious, Remus cried. Not the silent tears he had mastered early on in life, but great dry sobs that racked his body, his shoulders shaking rapidly. He clutched the photo to his chest, wishing for it to come to life, for this all to be a dream, a terrible nightmare.

"Remus?"

Remus opened his puffy eyes at the voice, just about making out a blurry outline of Molly Weasley standing in the doorway. He didn't respond, instead making a strangled noise and clamping his hand to his mouth, shuddering uncontrollably. Feeling arms wrap around him, he melted backwards, welcoming the safe embrace.

"Sirius," he managed to gasp out, "He's-"

"I know sweetheart, I know. Shh just let it out."

He'd never felt so lonely in his entire life.

"They're all dead."


	4. Remus sees Sirius after a year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus hasn't seen Sirius, James, or Peter for a whole year, and then one winter day he bumps into all three.  
> (The war never happened in this au)

Diagon Ally was beautiful in the winter. Snow blanketing the cobble stoned roads, fairy lights strung up along the shops, twinkling in the early dawn. As a child Remus had only ever seen Diagon Ally one time of the year - in August purchasing school supplies. Now, he spent most of his time there, usually sitting on the same bench outside 'McKinnon's and Meadowes Remedies', sipping the same coffee, reading the same book. It was an unspoken routine he had had for six months now, without plan of breaking it. He found himself with nothing else to do other then go there each day, and there was no point sitting in his apartment wallowing in self pity.

A year ago, Remus Lupin had been left alone, on one knee, when Sirius Black had said no to his proposal. And everything seemed to spiral from there. He hadn't seen Sirius since he'd walked out on him, the last time he'd talked to James and Peter was almost just as long, and he felt so terribly lonely. He spent full moons alone now, they were no longer a pack. Because James was Sirius' brother and he couldn't leave him, and wherever James went Peter was close following.

He found comfort in visiting Marlene and Dorcas every day, replacing bright flowers in their shop window each morning, occasionally indulging in breakfast with them. Sometimes he even met up with Lily for a chat, who thankfully steered clear of all conversations of his friends. His old friends.

And this cold, snowy morning was nothing different, Remus sat on his bench, bundled in his favourite sweater and coat, gloved fingers grasping one of his beloved books. Marlene had practically begged him to sit indoors, but he had assured her he needed the fresh air, and that he didn't want to intrude.

Diagon Ally was more or less deserted, a calming quiet settling on the streets. All the students were at school and the shoppers still asleep in hotels. The only people up where the store owners and, well, Remus. And then a voice shattered the tranquillity.

"Bugger off Prongs, you don't know anything!"

A loud laugh followed the exclamation, but Remus hardly heard it over the ringing of his own ears. Because he would know that voice anywhere.

"Shit," he whispered under his breath, as he eyed Sirius, James, and Peter walk down the street. "Fuck, fuck shit fuck shit."

He debated retreating into the shop behind him, but that would involve standing, and he was pretty sure his legs would give way if he put any weight on them. It would also draw the attention of the three approaching men.

So instead he attempted to hide inside his own body, letting his sweater ingulf him as much as was humanely possible, holding the book right up to his face, pulling his knees into his chest and-

"Remus?"

It was James' voice.

"Fuck," he muttered once more, a little louder then he intended, squeezing his eyes shut and making no move at lowering his book.

He couldn't look at any of them.

"Moony?..."

This time it was Sirius who spoke, and Remus suddenly felt white hot flame burn through him. After a moment of silence, he forced his hands down, looking up into the grey eyes he used to love, oh so much. Now all he felt was anger and hate, and it was almost too much to even look at him.

"Don't you dare call me that," he spat, his cold, steely voice surprising himself. He glanced at James and Peter who stood there, frozen. "You all lost the privilege to call me that when you left me."

"I didn't want to," was what Sirius said when he finally seemed to find his voice again.

Remus stared at him incredulously, because that's all he could say? After rejecting his proposal after being in a relationship for five years, that's all he could say?

"I can't believe you," Remus whispered, "What is wrong with you?"

He watched Sirius' eyes gloss over, the way they flickered to James for help.

"Re, I- I'm so sorry," he said, reaching out towards Remus.

"You're a little late for the apologises," Remus hissed, flinching away from his touch.

"You don't understand Re-"

"I don't understand?!"

Remus' voice cracked as he spoke, the anger bubbling up into his throat.

"Because I think I understand perfectly," he continued, shakily standing up. "You left me, you said no to me for what ever bullshit reason you made up in your head. I loved you and you fucking destroyed it."

He was only half aware of his voice rising and his fists clenching at his sides, because now that he'd started, a year of pent up emotions were flooding out.

"You all abandoned me. I had no one, for six months I had no one! For twelve full moons I've been alone! Because you decided I wasn't good enough. I mean, really, what did I do?!"

Sirius was crying now, tears streaking down his face, and Remus assumed he was too, but he couldn't care less.

"Nothing, you didn't do anything, you didn't-" Sirius croaked, cupping a hand around his face to wipe away tears.

For a split second Remus leant into the touch, missing the way it felt to be safe. All the anger washed out of him and all he felt was the sadness he'd tried to suppress for months. A chocked sob racked through his body, but he managed to pull away from Sirius' hold.

"Stop it. Stop pretending everything's fine," he gasped out. "It's not fine, it's not, it's not."

He fell back onto his bench, and pulled up his knees, clutching his hair viciously as if to anchor himself.

"Hey Remus, I got your usual coffee I hope that's fi-"

Dorcas stopped midsentence, staring at the scene in front of her. She took in Sirius' tear painted face, Peter and James' scared looks and Remus' panicking state, and then her face hardened into an expression that was so unlike Dorcas, it almost scared Remus.

"Rem, come on," she said coldly as she stretched out her hand towards him. "Leave, all of you," she continued, glaring at the other three men.

Remus quickly took hold of her hand, and she pulled him up, grabbing his book as she did so. She pulled him towards the store entrance, but a tug on Remus' sleeve stopped him.

"Please," Sirius practically whispered, his eyes wide and filled with sorrow.

Remus glanced behind him at Dorcas, and where Marlene was standing from inside the shop, and then back at the three other Marauders. He shook his head.

"No," was all he said before he turned his back on them and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for this hahahhh  
> could you tell i wrote this in the middle of the night when i was feeling super angsty?


	5. Sirius explains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A part two on my previous oneshot, 'Remus sees Sirius' after a year'!

Mondays were always quite quiet at the shop. A few orders would be placed here and there but in general, hardly anyone came in.

Remus sat in the back room of the shop on that very Monday, the typical English winter weather making it rather unpleasant for him to sit outside. Marlene and Dorcas were out running errands and he had been placed in charge of the store until they got back.

He was writing in his brown tattered notebook, little poems that seemed to continuously pop into his head, words he had to get down so they would stop haunting his mind. Remus always found writing helped calm him down and level his head. He'd also found himself doing it a lot more since his unexpected encounter with the boy who shattered his heart into fragments.

The shop bell rung in the background and his stubby pencil stopped mid flow, floating above the page, words left unwritten. Frowning, he placed the book down onto the coffee table and stood, stretching his long limbs and walking to the front desk.

"Good afternoon, what can I do for- oh."

Remus cut himself off, stilling to a halt as his eyes landed on Sirius standing sheepishly in the middle of the shop.

"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly.

"I need to talk to you. And I need you to listen. Please."

"You need _me_ to listen to _you_?" Remus said incredulously, "Maybe you should have been listening when I told you I didn't want to speak to you."

"Remus please...I need to explain," said Sirius, taking a few steps forward.

"Explain what exactly?"

"Why I said I couldn't marry you."

Remus froze momentarily, and a fresh flare of pain shot through him at those words.

"Right. Couldn't have done this a year ago?" he accused.

"I tried, Rem I swear, I looked for you everywhere, I went back to your apartment, I called you, I got in contact with everyone who might've known where you were but it was like you completely disappeared," Sirius rambled.

"Maybe it's because I wanted to disappear. At least from you."

Sirius flinched slightly, and sadness was evident on his face.

"But I've found you now. So please, at least hear me out, and then I'll go and you don't have to ever see me again."

Remus sighed, looking up and meeting Sirius' eyes.

"Fine, but make it quick. Dorcas would probably pummel you if she sees you here again."

He motioned for Sirius to follow him, and walked to the back room, sinking down onto the sofa. Sirius sat cautiously next to him, perching on the edge as if he were getting ready to jump up. A moment of silence passed, hanging heavy in the air, until Sirius finally spoke.

"I wanted to marry you," he started, pausing when Remus inhaled sharply. "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But I was scared of what would happen to you if I said yes. My family is the 'Noble Family of Black', they expect me to marry a rich, pureblood girl from a respectable background and I was scared of what they would do to you if they found out about us."

Sirius twisted in his seat, turning to face Remus, his big, stormy eyes glossing over.

"I wanted to keep you safe. Keep you away from my screwed up life, and my insane family. I thought it was the best thing to do."

"You think I didn't know the risks Sirius? I asked you to marry me _knowing_ all that, and you still turned away from me." Remus interrupted, his voice low and hushed.

"I wanted to marry you," he repeated, "I...I still do. I'm not scared anymore. Because I love you Remus, with everything I have. I don't think I ever stopped."

The words hit Remus with full force, echoing in his ears as they ricocheted around the room. All the pain and anger and hatred seemed to melt away, crumbling off of him, until only a delicate shell was left.

Because Sirius was only trying to protect him, only trying to shelter him from pain and anguish. He was trying to do the best thing for Remus because _he loved him._ And he was trying to do the best thing now because he _still_ loved Remus.

_I don't think I ever stopped._

"You can tell me to leave now," Sirius whispered hoarsely, a tear rolling down his cheek. "I don't mind. I hate that I've caused you so much pain. You deserve so much better."

Sirius pushed himself off the sofa, making his way towards the door, when Remus felt his hand shoot out and grab Sirius' wrist.

"Nothing's better than you."

Shock and sadness washed across Sirius' face, and he shook his head slightly.

"That's not true Rem."

"It is. I want you to stay," Remus managed to choke out, standing shakily onto his feet.

Sirius' tear flooded eyes widened at the words, and his lips parted like a silent gasp.

"You want-"

"I want you to stay," he finished.

And then he found himself giving Sirius a small smile.

"I need time...but I want you to stay."


End file.
